Fire (A Special Agent Novel Book 4) Read online

  I wanted to shake my head. No, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just stand there and watch someone I cared about being hurt to the point where they had to scream out loud. That wasn’t who I was. While I might be a killer, I had never managed to distance myself emotionally from the job, and some days my conscience nearly ate me alive as I relived past memories of my misdeeds. No matter how many times someone told me what I was doing was for the safety and security of my country, taking a life would never be easy for me. Over the years I have learnt to live with the pain, but the day I stopped caring would be the day I died.

  Moving in closer to his body, I placed a kiss on the back of his neck. “I’ll try my best,” I whispered.

  Adie shook his head. “That’s not good enough, Lo. I want your word that you’ll sit there and take it, no matter what he does to me. You can’t do what you did when James began whipping me at Adamantines, and this will be much worse. Promise me you won’t raise a finger to help me.”

  “You can’t ask me to do something that will kill me inside,” I whispered. He was asking me to fight against my basic instincts, and that would be nearly impossible.

  “I can, and I am. I want your word, Lois. If you care for me at all, you’ll give me your word.” Adie’s voice was firmer now, and he ground out each word with precision. The drug was beginning to wear off.

  “I can’t promise you something like that. It’s like telling a little child not to cry while watching Bambi. It’s not something you can fight.”

  “Oh, it is. James has had many years of practise at it. Ask him later. For now, you need to give me your word. If Alain sees you crying over my sorry ass, he’ll get you on here next and whip the shit out of you to see if affects me - and it will. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my reaction - but it will hurt a fucking lot, and it’s not something I want anyone else to go through. So, you need to promise me you’ll sit on your chair and not say a word. If you don’t, I’ll probably get myself killed trying to stop him hurting you. Do you understand?”

  I was beginning to. How the hell had Adie managed to cope with all the batshit crazy members of his family for this long? It put a whole new meaning to the word ‘dysfunctional.’ What kind of childhood must he have had? It didn’t bear thinking about.

  “Lois.” His sharp tone snapped my head up. “Promise me, Lois. If you care about me, even a fraction of the amount I care about you, you’ll do this for me. If you don’t, I’ll go fucking nuts, and I’m already borderline. You know this, Lo.”

  I did. It certainly explained a few things - like Adie’s fascination with pain, for example. Shit. I would have to give him what he wanted, although it would nearly kill me. It was the least I could do.

  “You’re in a twisted little world, just like James, aren’t you?” I murmured. “You can’t have a serious relationship either, without your brother getting involved and using the woman as leverage. That’s why you sleep with a different girl every night, and why you don’t embark on serious relationships. It’s a way to dull the pain, but it doesn’t really scratch the itch, does it?” James’s earlier words of warning echoed in my head: Please tell me you’re not falling for that bastard. He sleeps with a different woman every day of the week. Yeah, and there was a good reason for that. He didn’t want to give his family any more control over him than they already had.

  “Don’t psychoanalyse me, Lois. I have my reasons for what I do. We all do, and you’re no better. Now stop fucking stalling and give me what I want before I get James over here to beat some sense into you,” he growled.

  My gut clenched as I prepared to do exactly that. Closing my eyes, I knew I would regret this, but I couldn’t deny him. Although I didn’t need protecting, I wasn’t selfish enough to put him through even more pain than that which he was already facing.

  “You have my word,” I mumbled. He’d probably asked more of me than anyone before, but I would do this for him.

  “You’ll sit there quietly, unmoving, and not say a thing? I don’t want you to react at all, Lois. Just sit there as if you’re watching the most boring movie on record. Do. Not. Give. Him. A. Thing. I can’t watch you being tortured.”

  I nodded against his back, unable to speak. My words were all choked up inside me, and the last thing he needed was to see me upset. He had enough on his plate.

  As if he could sense this, Adie then said, “Go back to James, Lois. You can’t help me now. I need to get in the right head space for what’s about to happen next, so it’s best if I have some time alone.” There was another nod from me, which was all I could give him, as I pulled away from his body gently.

  “One more thing,” he said, as I began to turn around. Stopping in my tracks, I saw the side of his head turn around, and he gave me a lopsided smile. “Thank you. The only other person I’ve ever asked anything like that from before is James, so you’re now one of the few people I trust. Don’t let me down.” He winked and then turned his head around. I deflated almost instantly.

  My footsteps back to James were slow and cumbersome. I knew what I’d agreed to, and I had a feeling that delivering that promise would be hell on wheels. My face must have said it all, and the first words out of James’s mouth confirmed it.

  “Did he ask you what I think he did?” James gave me a rueful smile. He wasn’t unsympathetic, at least.

  “Adie said you’ve had to do this before. How many times have you had to watch him suffer?” I asked. I didn’t want to know the answer, but my curiosity had gotten the better of me.

  “Too many times to count,” he replied. “Alain thinks upon this kind of shit as sport. He knew we were tight, so if we ever stepped out of line, this was his way of controlling us. It worked to a point. The trouble is, we’re both too headstrong to control. In the end, we came to an agreement. We wouldn’t give Alain what he wanted, which was a reaction. Although it was a high price to pay, it was the only tactic that worked. In this situation there is no other way to fight back. The trouble with Alain is that he is crazy inventive when it comes to pain, and that goes for emotional pain as well as physical.”

  “Am I going to be able to do this?” I whispered.

  “If I can do it, you can do it, Lois. Besides, you have to for Adie. You gave your word, right?” I nodded, although my face was grim.

  “He pulled that shit on me, too, so don’t feel bad. That man has a way of getting what he wants.”

  I snorted. “So do you. You’re both manipulative fuckers.” In fact, they were both as bad as each other in my opinion.

  “It comes with the territory, Lois. You know that. You’re not immune to using those kinds of tactics, either. I’ve seen you work a room, woman. There isn’t a man alive you couldn’t wrap around your finger.” The conviction in James’s voice startled me.

  “Except you or Adie, you mean.” It was James’s turn to snort.

  “You’ve already wrapped us around your finger. We just have issues. If you were any kind of sensible female, you’d run so fast in the opposite direction, all that would be left is dust.”

  “The armed guards and locked room have made running a little difficult,” I said dryly.

  “You wouldn’t run, even if they gave you the chance, would you Lois? You like to meet all your problems head on. You’re the type of girl that goes down fighting.”

  Once again James had pegged me exactly right. I swear the man could see directly into my brain. There was no way I’d run and leave these two at the mercy of Alain, even if the opportunity presented itself. Well, unless I’d been given orders to do otherwise, I guess.

  The sound of footsteps then interrupted our little chat. There were lots of them, and at a guess, they were headed our way. It sobered me instantly. Putting my hand across my lips, so James wouldn’t see them wobble, I looked up at him with glassy eyes.

  “I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered.

  James took hold of my shoulders and shook me gently. “You can do anything you set your mind to, L
ois. I’ve never seen a more capable operative. Start distancing yourself now, go find your happy place - hell, do whatever you have to in order to get through this, but don’t let Alain see that you care. You can do that for Adie. I know you can.” James sounded a lot more confident of my abilities than I was.

  “There’s only so much I have left to give, though, and I haven’t had as much practise controlling my emotions as you have.” I wondered, not for the first time, if I would fall at the first strike of the whip. There was no way I could do this, was there?

  “You need to keep your promises, Lois. The consequences of failing are even worse. Take my word for it.” He gave me a quick hug but pulled away almost instantly as the doors began to open. There was the sharp flick of a switch, and it illuminated the room in brilliant light. It was time to face the music.

  Chapter Three - Adie

  Alain entered with several guards trailing behind him. Even though I couldn’t see him, I heard the distinctive sound of his shoes tapping against the concrete. I’d know the sound of my brother’s feet anywhere. I’d had years of fearing those footsteps.

  The first thing he did was turn me around, so I’d be facing Lois and James. This was so I could witness something horrible. He’d try to get a rise out of me and when that didn’t work, he’d try the reverse tactic. That was usually the way he operated.

  Once upon a time, stripping me naked and stringing me up to the whipping post would have left me feeling vulnerable and humiliated, but these days I’d almost become anesthetised to his ploys. Besides which, everyone I cared about in this room had already seen me naked, so it was unlikely to make me feel any worse than I already did. Lois and James were still in the clothes they’d been in when we’d left Adamantines. James looked relatively neat and tidy, but Lois’s dress had a few tears. Examining them closer, to see if Alain had already got to them, it didn’t take me long to see James’s hand. It was covered in blood and had several steel pins sticking out of it. Fuck. My brother had been busy. I saw nothing else out of place, though. At least it was his left hand. Normally, Alain would have gone straight for the right, and that worried me. Did he need us for something? Time would tell.

  My eyes then flickered casually over to Lois, when I’d carefully ascertained no one was watching me. I gave myself no more than two seconds to look at her, but I wanted to make sure she hadn’t been hurt too badly. I knew Lois would get no special treatment here for being a woman, and worse, they’d probably use the fact against her. Alain would have more fun tormenting her than James, especially if he knew that we both cared for the woman. It was something we’d have to hide at all costs. Finally, my quick appraisal settled on her hand - again, the left one. There was a single steel pin sticking out of it, and a trail of dried blood that reached down to her fingertips. For some reason Alain had taken it easy on her, though I couldn’t for the life of me fathom why. Wheels of dread started turning in my head.

  “Come along ladies and gentlemen. We’ve got front row seats for you here. Please sit down.” Sighing under my breath, I watched as the guards rounded up Lois and James. My brother then indicated the two sturdy wooden chairs that sat in the middle of the room. He’d had them bolted to the floor, which was never a good sign. Watching the pair with trepidation, I almost held my breath waiting for something bad to happen. Sure enough, as the thought entered my head, my brother began to speak.

  “Now who thinks they’ll be able to stay in their seats the whole time the show is on?” Uh oh, this would not end well. Neither Lois nor James said a word, but that didn’t deter him.

  “Today we want to make sure you watch the whole performance unfold from start to finish, without any interruptions. I think the best way to do that is by nailing both of you into your chairs.” Alain stood back and looked at me, with a great big shit-eating grin on his face. I stared back with a bored expression. It was one I’d prepared earlier. This didn’t curb his enthusiasm, unfortunately.

  “It’s kind of handy, because you both have some pins lying about somewhere, so we can use those, although Lois might need another one or two.” Alain pretended to consider this. “Yes, to be on the safe side, we’ll use two, I think. No one’s going to risk tearing their hand off to escape, are they? The only question is whether I’ll need to nail one hand each, or whether it would be more sensible to nail them all down. I’ve heard you’re very skilled at what you do. I wouldn’t want to take any chances with you.” Alain was still looking at me, and my expression hadn’t changed. He would do whatever he wanted, and nothing I said or did would change that. The gleam in his eyes got brighter as he picked up Lois’s hand, and it was clear he already knew there was something between us. It came as no surprise. Alain would have had all of us under surveillance, and he was even more careful with James. Wherever we went, disaster followed.

  When I still didn’t say anything, Alain pouted. “What’s the matter, Adie? Cat got your tongue? You used to love playing my little games.” He began walking towards me.

  Yeah, about that. I never loved your little games you fucking bastard, and the only reason I played along with them was to keep the skin on my hide intact. I knew better than to voice this thought out loud, however. Instead, I’d go with humour.

  “Are we starting the whipping part yet? Or do you need a moment?” I raised my eyebrows in question. There was no emotion in my features and I had perfected the bored look I wore through years of practise. If Alain thought he was getting anything out of me other than my screams today, he was much mistaken.

  Alain pretended to look affronted. “Come now, Adrien. There’s no need to be like that. You know you deserve the whipping, and I deserve my fun. I hear you’d duped dad into thinking you were me for a couple of weeks. Poor old Geraud. He’s not as sharp as he once was, huh? Anyway, you did me a favour when you escaped. Dad finally realised I was missing and sent some men out to get me. Took him long enough.”

  “I hope they had lots of fun with you, brother. It’s probably about time you had a taste of your own medicine.” Alain’s hand then crashed into my neck and began squeezing. Glaring at him, I dared him to keep going until I passed out, but the asshole was far too clever for that.

  “Why are you constantly trying to goad me, brother? Why can’t you just do as you’re told?” Loosening his hold around my neck, he frowned. “We go over this shit time and time again. Your job is to help me run the business. You don’t get to play over on the other side. It makes Dad cranky. When are you going to realise that James over there is full of crap? The only reason he’s working for them is because there’s nowhere else for him to go, and no one left to protect him. Maybe I should just kill him and get this infatuation of yours over with.”

  I laughed. It was a brittle sound and full of irony, but I’d had enough of my brother’s posturing. “Good luck with that. They’re already hunting you down, and if you put a bullet in one of their men, they’ll send a dozen more out to do the job properly. You know this as well as I do. As to killing the poor fucker, be my guest. If you do, it’ll be the first good turn you’ve ever done anyone, so stop bullshitting me. You enjoy watching him suffer far too much to kill him, isn’t that right?”

  Alain’s hold on my neck tightened, and he snarled. “Since when do you think you know everything?”

  “Go prove me wrong then, big brother. Go show me what a hard-ass you really are.” This wasn’t the first time we’d played this game, and I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Each time I played with James' life, my stomach turned to acid, but I knew James would probably thank me if the bastard actually managed to kill him. Although we lived in different kinds of hell, they weren’t all that different when you examined them closely. The only reason I didn’t want to die just yet was because I wanted to watch my brother go first - preferably at my own hands. Some days that was the only thought keeping me going.

  Alain slowly pulled a gun out of the back of his jeans. It was a Glock 9mm semi-automatic. I knew this without looking beca
use it was his favourite weapon and he carried it with him everywhere. “Let’s see if I can do my good deed for the day, shall we?” Waving the gun in my face, he watched me closely, to see if he’d get a reaction, but when I remained mute, he spun on his heel and stalked off towards James. Inside, I was a mess. This wasn’t going to be the day he made good on his threat, was it? As much as James might have wanted to die, I didn’t want to watch that happen - especially knowing I’d instigated the whole event. I’d never be able to live with myself. He’s just fucking with you. He does this all the time. That didn’t mean the next five minutes weren’t going to give me a coronary.

  Watching Alain from the corner of my eye, I saw him pick up two hammers from the big metal box in the corner of the room and toss them to the guards. Oh fuck.

  “Nail them to the chairs.” Neither James nor Lois moved, and I wondered if I’d have been so calm, had it been me hearing those instructions. I guess they both knew there was no way out, so they might as well just get on with it. To be fair, James put a brave face on everything and took pain with the stoicism of a warlord. I’d expected Lois to run, though. Even though she was a relatively seasoned operative, she wouldn’t have come up against anyone even remotely resembling my brother before. Perhaps she was taking her cues from James.

  “So, who wants to go first?” Alain looked at Lois and then James, as if he were considering which choice to make. This was just a ruse. He’d already decided that hours ago when he’d begun planning all of his little games.